Signs of a Codependent Relationship

Posted by on Jan 14, 2013 in Codependent Relationship |

Signs of a codependent relationship

Signs of a codependent relationship

Codependency used to be isolated merely to those who were linked to a person who was an alcoholic or drug addict. Now codependence has a much broader definition. Anyone, not just alcoholics and addicts can be very unhealthy emotionally. Codependence is usually characterized by one individual being extremely helpful to the point of sacrificing their own needs. One person can become dependent on the other’s need for them. Codependence in general is when one person suffers emotional or tangible consequences due to their want to usually help or care for another person.

Here are some signs of a codependent relationship:

  • Becoming obsessed with fixing and rescuing needy people. People who are codependent are more oriented to other people’s reality instead of their own. They always want to be someone else’s savior and this makes them feel happier about themselves. This action is what gives them a sense of self-worth.
  • Being absorbed in the pain and problems of other people.
  • Trying to control someone or having someone trying to control you. Neediness is a classic trait of a codependent relationship. One person’s happiness depends on having the other person there at all times. Controlling behaviors can include not letting you hang out with your friends, calling frequently to check up on you and having to be with you all the time.
  • Always seeking approval and recognition. Low self-esteem is another classic trait of a codependent relationship. Many adults in codependent relationships come from families where they didn’t feel love, they felt abandoned, or were abandoned by either one parent or both. This makes codependents willing to put up with a lot to make sure you don’t leave them.
  • Pretending everything is ok when it really isn’t. People in codependent relationships find themselves doing things for other people that those people are capable of doing on their own. They have a lack of self-respect. They don’t trust their own perceptions and are terrified of being wrong. Usually they are totally convinced they can’t survive without the other person in the relationship. They don’t feel whole without the relationship.
  • Giving too much in order to get someone to love them. It is not uncommon in codependent relationships for the codependent person to feel more alive in a relationship. People in codependent relationships are overly critical of themselves. They blame themselves for everything that goes wrong. The main purpose of their life is to get the other person to love them and this dominates their life.
  • Codependent people will put all of their energies into pleasing another. While it is considered a value to care for others, there needs to be a balance so that we take care of ourselves as well. When this balance is skewed, a person will lie for another, cover up for another and never let anyone say anything bad about the other person, even if it means suffering the other person’s consequences.

Are you in a codependent relationship?

If you think you may be the best solution is to seek outside help from a professional who can tell you which solution is best for you in your situation. They can also tell you officially if you are in a codependent relationship.

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