Self-compassion for a healthy recovery

Posted by on May 10, 2013 in Recovery, Self Compassion |

Self compassion for a healthy recovery

Self-compassion for a healthy recovery

With self-compassion, you value yourself not because you’ve judged yourself positively and others negatively but because you’re intrinsically deserving of care and concern like everyone else. Where self-esteem leaves us powerless and distraught, self-compassion is at the heart of empowerment, learning, and inner strength. And this is why self-compassion is absolutely vital for a healthy recovery. For so long in addiction and alcoholism we compared are selves to other people and we were always better than, or worse than. This was not self-compassion this was comparison, ego, and self-esteem. Self-compassion is something different and if you haven’t found it yet here are some ways to find self-compassion for a healthy recovery.

Treat yourself like you’re your best friend.

So what does that mean exactly? Treating yourself like your best friend means reacting to your actions in the same way you would with your best friend; it means taking on the attitude that you would have toward a friend who has failed at something. You would never berate your friend, judge them, or add to their despair would you? No, you would listen and have empathy and understanding; you would encourage your friend to remember that mistakes are normal and you would validate their emotions while being helpful. Treating yourself in this same way is self-compassion and this is self-compassion for a healthy recovery.

Write yourself a letter if you want to learn to talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Take the perspective on yourself as you would a friend and write a letter to yourself. Ask yourself what would a compassionate friend say to me in this situation? Later on you can come back and read the letter and have self-compassion for yourself. This is key to a healthy recovery.

Find better ways to deal with failing

Self-compassion for a healthy recovery means recognizing that failures are great learning opportunities not reasons to beat you up. Self-compassion allows people to maintain a peace of mind when they fail. In the face of many things such as rejection, failure, criticism; self-compassion is the strength and emotional stability of being able to hand all those things and becoming emotionally stable and having strength and dignity while handling tough situations is the key to a healthy recovery.

Write down any self-talk

If you self-criticize because your jeans don’t fit or you made some mistake write down the self-critical words you tell yourself and then ask if you would every say those things to a friend. Would you? No, of course you would never tell your friend the things you are telling yourself. Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself and try to remember what a friend would say to you.

If you really want self-compassion for a healthy recovery you can even begin developing self-compassion mantra.

A self-compassion mantra is a phrase that you can easily memorize so that when some harder times in your life, mistakes, failures, and criticism come up you can go to this phrase or mantra. Self-compassion mantras are different than affirmations. For instance, a self-compassion mantra would be something along the lines of telling yourself that suffering is a part of life, help me to be kind to myself in this moment, help me to be compassionate with myself. This is emotionally supporting yourself and is part of what recovery is all about. Because doing this is managing your emotions effectively and realizing that you are worth it, which is the whole journey of recovery.

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