Moving Past Shame In Your Recovery

Posted by on May 8, 2013 in Addiction, Recovery, Shame |

Moving Past Shame in Your Recovery

Moving past shame in your recovery

Most of us in recovery have dealt with shame. In fact, probably all of us in recovery have dealt with shame we just didn’t know that’s what it was. Shame is when you feel unworthy, unlovable or somehow less than other people without really knowing why. Shame is not an emotion but is actually a belief system. Shame is a lie we all tell ourselves sometimes. No one should ever be ashamed because they are worthy, deserving of love and respect just like everyone else. Everyone, especially those of us in recovery have done things we aren’t proud of but that doesn’t mean we are less than. This is why it is important to get past shame.

The whole point of recovery is to live a life that is happy, joyous and free. Recovery cannot reach its full potential if we are telling ourselves lies about being unworthy. So the first step in moving past shame in your recovery is to stop believing the lies you tell yourself about your unworthiness. Moving past shame in your recovery begins with re-teaching your mind to not believe the shameful things you have internalized and been telling yourself for years and maybe even your entire life. You have to learn to think differently about yourself and your place in the world.

The best way to begin moving past shame in your recovery is to talk to someone. Luckily in recovery we have many sober supports and hopefully a sponsor so there are plenty of people to talk to. Shame grows in our secrets and isolation. Shame holds onto all the things about ourselves that we don’t want anyone else to know about because we are afraid that if someone else knew those things they wouldn’t love us or care about us. Find someone you can trust such as your sponsor and talk to them about what you are ashamed of this is how you will begin moving past shame in your recovery. You will actually have the opportunity to bring all these things to the light that are keeping you in shame when you work 12 steps with a sponsor. The 4th step of the 12 steps goes over ever dark little detail that would cause shame so this is also another way you will get a chance to begin moving past shame in your recovery.

Another great way to begin moving past shame in your recovery is to write. Write it all down. Write about your shame in the form of stories, poems, letters to people that hurt you, and even just your thoughts. Writing is a great therapeutic tool to move past shame and it can also make it easier to see where you tell yourself you are unworthy so you can begin to change those thoughts.

Shame is baggage that we all have to carry alone and when we write about it or share it with another person than that heavy load is removed. This is one of the most important aspects of recovery and when you begin moving past shame in your recovery you will know it because you will feel clean, light and free. You won’t feel held down or held back by anything anymore.

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